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Obsessive Love  Some more random thoughts I felt the need to write down and bore you all with... ( Spoilers Within ) Well that was a pointless post. Current mood:  bored.
So why shouldn't I? The Half-Blood Prince. My wonderful and engaging opinion. ( Read more... ) Well I think that's all for now. I'm sure I'll think of more on the second, third, ninety-ninth readings. Current mood:  contemplative.
I might have to fight Alex for him. Then again do I really want him? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Well that could have been better. HAHAHAHA Disturbing I swear that came up first time! It was all good and then, could have been better! Aw sweet Current mood: bored.Current music: Lucie Silvas Album.  You're a romantic girl. You're kind, caring, loveing, and peaceful. You spend a lot of your time dreaming and you're not afraid to express deep emotion, whether it be in a poem, diary, or words. You hope for love and affection from your prince charming. I have a feeling he will come around soon. What kind of girl are you? (with pix!) brought to you by Quizilla Author’s Note – Fuelled by a lethal amount of chocolate, a CD of angst filled music and stories of Pansy and Draco I began typing. This is the result. It’s not really gone where I wanted it to, so I’m wide open for criticism (although chocolate and bunnies will be lavished upon those with praise) The Truth Of The Matter Pansy had never been happier. The life she had imagined since she was seven was finally a reality. Draco had proposed and he hadn’t even been under pain of death. And staring at the rock now adorning the third finger of her left hand Pansy had to concede that all she had gone through to snare the grey-eyed Slytherin was worth it. All the simpering, the flirting, the jealousy, the gossip, the spying, the tears, it was all worth it for this one moment of ecstasy. For when Pansy, aged seven, had moved to the mansion next door to the Malfoy’s and set eyes on Draco she had vowed that she would marry him. It wasn’t odd for a pureblooded witch from a family like hers to be thinking of marriage at age seven. As soon as she could walk she was attending balls in frilly dresses and she’d been having elocution and etiquette lessons since the age of four. Things like that were important to her family, honour, power, good-breeding. And there was none better bred than the Parkinson’s and the Malfoy’s. They had been friends since they first met. While their parents sipped tea Pansy held the ladder as Draco tried to reach the forbidden books on the top shelf of his Fathers bookcase, as their parents discussed politics Pansy cleaned the cuts from another fight with his Fathers menagerie of dangerous creatures. But then Hogwarts loomed and it wouldn’t just be the two of them anymore. But Pansy needn’t of worried, for Draco valued loyalty highly. And Pansy was nothing but loyal. She was always there, at every Quidditch match, at his side every time he taunted Potter, everytime he was again embarrassed by him. She saw him one night, in front of the common room fire, brush away silver tears. She never told him she’d seen his one moment of weakness, she didn’t dare, but she kept that image close to her heart, the strongest of them all vulnerable. For he was the strongest of them all. He would lead and they would follow him into death. But in that one moment Pansy had seen him human and she would never forget that. There was another image that Pansy would always hold close to her heart, one that stung like a fragment of glass forever embedded. One winters day through the blizzard of snow a glimpse of another in his arms, a pretty blonde, and her lips on his. And Pansy was there at every break-up. As he ranted and raved or as he glared into the common room fire. And that little shard of glass dug deeper and deeper. Because she couldn’t understand why it was never her yet she could never tell him that she wanted it to be her. Couldn’t tell him that she would never leave him, because she needed him. Needed him more than anything. She realised she loved him as she sat across from him in the library. No fireworks. No sudden meeting of eyes across the crowded room. The world didn’t stop turning and time carried on as normal. He was bent over his essay, completely involved in the alignment of some moon of Jupiter. Pansy had looked up from her own essay to steal a sly glance. And she saw him. And what was once just a matter of breeding and class was now a matter of love. She had fallen in love with Draco somewhere along the way. Without him she was nothing, she had nothing to look forward to. There was no reason to get up in the morning without him because he was the spark that made her day. Love wasn’t in her plan. And Pansy had no idea how to deal with this. Love was a weakness; it meant you could be hurt. And Pansy didn’t want to hurt. But she hurt, and she cried. Because he would never love her. Could she live with un-requited love? Could she watch him with another now when she felt so strongly for him? Could she live with someone who didn’t love her now she knew the power of an emotional uncontrollable. Her plan was to always be there so that one day he would turn to her, and realise he needed her. Then she would have what she wanted. A marriage to a Malfoy. But now she needed him. And it could ruin everything. It was a year after Hogwarts when Draco turned around, only Pansy wasn’t there. On a mission for the resurrected Dark Lord Lucius had been killed. Draco had needed Pansy at his side more than ever; only Pansy had been captured by The Order. And Draco realised he would risk anything to have her back, to feel her tiny hand in his. And the knight in a dark hooded cloak had rescued her, held her close and told her he needed her. And Pansy had smiled because her plan had worked, and cried because her plan had worked. And staring at that rock and the man by her side it all seemed worth it. Even the not knowing, the fear that her love was unrequited and the fear that it wasn’t. But then Narcissa came. “Your in love with him aren’t you?” One sentence that could strike true, devastating fear in Pansy’s heart. She stammered, trying to find words. “It will kill you, you do know that.” And what Narcissa told her was the pain Pansy had always feared since the day in the library. That being in love with a Malfoy was the best and worst sentence in the world. Narcissa told her the crushing love she felt for Lucius, and told her the crushing pain it caused her. How she could never tell him how strongly she felt because she too was afraid of both rejection and reciprocation. What would she do if Draco said he did love her? The consequences of those three words could change her world as she knew it. If a Malfoy could love who knew what else could happen? Dragons would stop breathing fire and cats would stop mewing. And what if he said he didn’t feel the same way? That you are a marriage of convenience? A bruised and battered heart is a hard thing to mend, especially when you have to spend the rest of your life with the culprit. “Is it worth it?” Pansy asked, “Is it worth the pain and not-knowing to marry a Malfoy?” Narcissa stared long and hard. “It depends on how strong you are. Can you live like this for the rest of your life? Because it’s killing me. And I don’t know how much longer I can go on for.” And she left Pansy alone. A Pansy that was strong enough to survive the twelve years it had taken her to win over Draco, and strong enough to survive the years that were coming. Current mood: Angst-Filled. Current music: Incomplete, Backstreet Boys. 10th of Jan? Good Lord I'm lazy. I had a packed few weeks. I was filming this T.V. show, just as an extra like and they posioned me! I was there on a Friday and they asked me to come back the Saturday and the Sunday. Well I woke up in the early hours of Saturday morning (let's say 1.00am) puking my little guts up. Therefore I couldn't go on Saturday or Sunday because I had food posioning AND gastric flu. And guess what? THEY DECIDED NOT TO EVEN USE THE BLOODY FOOTAGE I FILMED!!!!!!!!! So now their inviting everyone back over the summer because they need to re-film. Only I won't get to go now because I couldn't go back on the Saturday an Sunday and I load of bastards who don't even want to do it will get phonecalls to go back. How unfair? So anyway after that I had a week off college. Then I came back to find I had 4 days till a Latin American exam. It went fine. Then we got told we where doing a National exam and I was doing my Disco Associate AND we where doing a show. So it was a mad last three weeks. But I got through them ok and everything's fine. So Tuck Everlasting people. My new favourite film. The list goes, Tuck Everlasting Pearl Harbour Peter Pan Do you know what? I was think last night about quotes I like such as the one from Harry Potter, "Death is but the next great adventure" and I came up with this one it goes something like, "You can love to men at once" or, "You can love moer than one man" Something along them lines anyway. But do you know what? I can't for the life of me remember where its from? Does anyone know? Is it a book or film or what? Please help me before I drive myself insane with wonder. Love Laura xxx I went to see Peter Pan today and, oh my God. I just can't express how much I loved it. I really, really loved it. It was one of the most amazing films I've ever seen. I think it's because you know when you read a book, you become so involved with the characters don't you? And you want it to work out for them. You make your own story up for them don't you? What you want to happen to them. And even when I was little and read Peter Pan I made my own story up for him and Wendy. And the film, that was just it. Everything I'd ever wanted to happen, happened. I remember watching the Disney version and wanting Peter to stay at the Darlings and grow up and marry Wendy, and this was when I was about five! I've always had a thing for hopelessly romantic, angst-filled stories, even before I knew what the words angst-filled meant. It was just so romantic. And the kiss in the right hand corner of her mouth. I just couldn't stop crying. It was just amazing. And the two kids playing Wendy and Peter were amazing. He just made me fall in love with Peter myself. Normally I'd come back from a film with child actors in it and think they were shite, like Harry Potter. Let's face it, most of the kids in that couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. But those two were really, really good. They just brought it to life. I cried my way through most of it, the score was amazing. That's what makes me cry the most in a film, the score. I'm going to order it from Amazon today. Anyway I think I'll go and download some of the songs now so, Love Laura I was bored 'cos EH was refusing to work (damn effing stupid bloody computer) so I thought I'd do some quizzes to pass the time. Some are from Alex's LJ, others I found hanging around the internet. I found that strangely disturbing. Me likey!  You are going to marry viggo mortensen.He is very friendly and funny and has a lot of respect for you and your friends. He is also very good with kids and would be an ideal father. Congrats!! Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!) brought to you by Quizilla Hmmmmm. Possibly. If my Mother didn't fancy him. I did a quiz in that Thamna had put in her LJ and look what I got!  'Lame-ass' PLEASE VOTE!!! What Type of Lunatic are You? (With Cool Pics!!) brought to you by Quizilla I think it's highly amusing. I decided I had a favorite film today. You see normally I say I don't because I love so many films but I decided once and for all that it's Pearl Harbor. I so much as have to look at the front of the DVD case and I start crying. Anything that makes me bawl my eyes out hysterically has got to be good right? Anyways I just thought I mention that credit for my name partly goes to Alex, whom I love very much. She was discussing Draco's "evility" and I just loved the word so much. And then Crete was making me sign up for LiveJournal and at first I couldn't think of a good name, then it came to me! Anyways thats me finished for now! Love Laura |
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